Aoi Life... Aoi Gurl...

It's MY Life!

2006-04-07T18:32:00.000-07:00

Okay...Today is the giving of report cards... Well yeah I got pretty low... But I didn't get THAT low! People around me make me feel like I'm a damn idiot! I feel like a puppet!!! I guess I got pretty low for myself... But I'm no damn rocket scientist or something! I am so fed up with always being pressured to what I am EXPRECTED TO DO! Damn! The people nagging me never reached what they want me to achieve! I'd understand if they wanted me to achieve something they did!

I know my grades are kind of disappointing, my dad gets mad at me like HELL! I mean I may think he's mad but he'll say, "I'm just worried about you because it's your future. Besides I'm doing this for your own good." HELL WITH THAT! THAT IS HIS LAME EXCUSE SINCE I CAN REMEMBER! HIS DIALOGUE IS ALWAYS LIKE THAT! I am sick of all this crap he is always telling me! Okay, maybe he has a point... But I am SO SICK OF THAT! The least he can do is say it in a nice way! He is always pressuring me! ALWAYS ME!!! ALWAYS! ALWAYS! ALWAYS! HELL!!! Then he is so proud and he thinks he is such a good father! ONLY HE THINKS THAT WAY!!!

My life has always been so unfair!!! ESPECIALLY WITH HIM! I AM SO FED UP WITH HIM ALWAYS PRESSURING ME AND TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! DAMN! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE GOES MOST OF THE TIME! AND HE CALLS HIMSELF A GOOD FATHER!

WHat is so unfair is that my younger brother FLUNKS some of his subjects and so far I haven't heard him nag him! It's always my faults!!! I mean, so what if I'm the eldest!? So what if I should set the bar for my brothers?! Am I obliged to do ALL his bidding?! Am I obliged to reach the goal he wants for me?! AM I OBLIGED TO GO TO UP?! Am I the one who is suppossed to always be the best! DON'T I HAVE A SAY WITH MY LIFE?! MUST HE ALWAYS GET HIS WAY?!

DAMN! If he is so perfect then why can I point out so much of his imperfections! Sure he can say pretty stuff that is right... But he has no IDEA how I FEEL!!! HE DOESN'T FREAKING CARE!!! ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS HIMSELF!!! ALL HE CARES ABOUT ARE HIS MOTORCYCLES!!! I AM SO FREAKING PISSED!!! I need somebody right now... I want somebody to hold... I NEED somebody to comfort me and make me calm down... I feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown!!! I'M EXPERIENCING THE WORST BREAKDOWN OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!! I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT!!!

...Why'd you have to go...?...

Blue...

2006-04-01T13:58:00.001-08:00

I'm really down in the dumps today... Irs like there is a missing part of me that I haven't found... I've been sleepin' later than usual and wakin' up earlier than I'm suppossed to... I'm starting to get eyebags now... I'm not sure why I'm so stressed... I don't really know the reason... But I'm thinking more on the lines of my grades, pressure I get fron my dad, missing someone very dear to me, and feeling alone... I feel like all my feelings are jumbled up together... And without my bhe... I'm feeling really really down... It's like I'm stooped on the lowest sadness that I have ever been in... I know words mean a lot, but do they really...? Or are they just pretty illusions for what is missing?

Tch...to those who wanna be me...

2005-07-22T05:17:00.000-07:00

Well...lets just say I'm fed up of being copied. Well...its just pathetic if somebody tries to be someone their not, except on portrayals :P. But hey, get this. I know this girl, she is always doing the stuff I do. Try the stuff I try, and wants to accomplish what I have accomplished. AND ITS DAMN IRRITATING!!! Even in the simple things she tries to copy me. No matter what it is, she copies me. She always associattes herself to me. She says were the same, and deep inside I'm laughing my head off! I'm thinking, "Try another life to copy, you can't be me! You can't handle mine you pathetic soul." Hahaha! It ain't flattering to have somebode copy you all the time... Well I'd appreciatte it if NOBODY would copy me. I mean, GET A LIFE! And please not mine... Your nothing compared to me! I mean I know how jealous oyou are of me, and how you wanna be me, but that just can't help ya! You even try to feel as important as I am, but your not! Don't try too hard, the more you piss me off!
Your a nobody girl! :P Your just a pest! :P

Outbound lets true colors loose!

2005-07-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

Alright... its been 2 days since outbound ed... Now the other 3 sections will have their chance to go. Outbound isn't just learning about science, history, strength or tolerance. It is also about seeing the true colors of people. During this outbound, many things happened. I see the people I can trust, the people I can't trust, the people that always rely on their partner, the people that give up easily, the people with so much pride, and the people don't care about anything but themself.

I mean, I guess I enjoyed mine... Me and my partner had fun, I guess... Except for when the water smelled...funky...Haha! Remember Nic?!

Anyways one person that I always trusted was Danica. We always helped each other from time to time. Hehe! Thanks Nic!
The people I can't trust are the people who leaves their partner behind. As in, they go with other crowds, even if they should be with their own crowds...
The people that always rely on their partner is easy to spot. They always shout out the name of their partner... As in ALWAYS!!!
The people who give up easily are the people who always say, "I can't take it anymore! I'm going home!!!" Tch...but they never do -_-...
People with so much pride are the people who "NEVER" want to see themselves getting at least a little bit of dirt.
And the people who only cares about themselves...Well...no need to explain this, right? :P

Anyways, one last thing...Thanx for the help Danica!! :P

Tch! Crap! Friendship is for what...?

2005-07-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

tch... Damn... SO disappointed... SO pissed off... So damn angry!!! Aryt...first of all I'm pissed coz of myself. I don't need to explain why! so...damn...disappointed...But thank goodness I was pretty happy when I left school. I saw my bh3!! ^^ And I had a kulit chat with Sarah n 'Fresh' for a while.
---------------------------------------
Anyways...
Tch...damn...I hate people that are such parasites... They give humans a bad name!! And thats mainly coz I'm human too! They make me think "Tch... How pathetic... You have an intellect but you don't know how to use it! Why is there such a creature in this earth like this?!" Tch... As Ms. Robiño would say, "Theoretically well defined, but practically impotent." Tch... so I depend on nobody!!! Yeah...nobody... Well...now...I only depend on two peeps, but not 'academically' like others... Uhm...I depend on them emotionally...They are the two peeps that give me strength... And of course my mom and brothers... They give me strength too... But I don't depend on them to do my reports, assignments, or projects... I depend on myself for that...
Some people use 'friendship' as means to get a higher grade, slack off in projects, not worry about reports. Tch! Fine! Be that way!!! I am just warning you...this'll be the start of my revenge... the cold war begiins... And I'm not having 2nd thoughts... Your going down...HARD!! No matter who you are!!!

Tch...friendship 'kuno'

2005-07-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

Alright...I'm damn fed up with this...

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tch... Enough feelin' pathetic for myself... Crud! Do friends really exist in this world...? Well...yeah they do... But how many real friends are there...?! Damn... I mean I try to stay in touch and be close as much as possible... But damn...talk to them...not much in reply. Smile at them...they diss you... Ask them qustions...they just smile back... Join them...they treat you like your not there... Invite them out...your only approached when needed... Wanna stay out late...they leave you alone... Do your responsibilities....they say your an airhead! Whats that?! Its like...damn...crap... Hell its so unfair... Its like your with a bunch of strangers when your with them. I mean, their attitude has totally changed plus their attitude towards you changes as well... Damn... I feel like I'm not trusted, not wanted, its like I never even knew them... What the hell is that?! Damn...knowing peeps for more than a year... And yet so much changed... Well...let me share to you a few quotes...

"You should place trust in your friends, but you can't expect someone to protect you all the time." -Auron (Now I know...)
"Memories are nice, but that's all they are." -Rikku (Yeah...)
"The future is yours to make. Live the way you want to." -Braska (I will...)
"Outside our fantasy, life can be harsh--even cruel, but it is life." -Yuna (Haha! I know that. I just hope that OTHERS do too...)

Well...thats it for now... Tch...Maybe next time again... Haha! And what have I learned from all this... Tch...why am I bothering... I mean...WHO CARES?!

[I'm not reffering it to all...But I hope some will even realize this... ALthough even if they do... Its too late... Better luck next time... Unfortunately, there ain't gonna be a next time... No second chances... My trust is hard to get the second time around... So is friendship...]

Tch... Pathetic...

2005-07-07T05:11:00.000-07:00

Err...feeling kinda pathetic for myself... As well as crappy... I feel so plastic that I can smile even though I don't feel happy at all... Crap... Its just crap... Tch... Its human nature that when we see someone get hurt we ask..."Are you okay...?" Tch! Notice...?? Well...in my case...I know myself more than anyone... That I'm not okay... Its just that...Grr... I feel pathetic for myself... I know I'm not okay... When others ask me that... I say "Yeah, I'm okay." But I know deep within me that I am not okay... Haha! I am so pathetic right...? Ugh... even though sometimes I promise I'm okay... I bend my promise cause I know I'm not okay!!! Err...there are only two people I am perfectly honest to... That is just what others will never know... They'll just have to trust me... And I know when to trust them... It could be two groups of peeps. Or two peeps LITERALLY! I just feel like crap today... I feel like I wanna just rest for a while and stop time... I just wanna think... I wanna relax... Tch!!!
Its just wish I'd be real when it comes to bein' open... Its like...grr... I say I'm okay...but...I'm not... I hate peeps who ask me if I'm okay... Why don't they just listen to me... I always give clues to what really is on my mind... I don't say it directly... They can hate me for that... But thats who I am... I'm not perfect... But I always give clues on how I feel... Hope they know... Like this entry right here... PING PONG!!...Damn... feel like crying...

Err...yeah...by the way. To the peeps that think I am 'desperate' for attention... Well, that ain't me! Uhm...maybe its you ^^ Make issues about yourself ^^ Just make sure there ain't no loophole! :P Good luck!

What kind of boyfriend would you have?

2005-07-02T20:31:00.000-07:00

All of your friends are jealous and you know it.
The boy is some romantic, he always can make a
rose appear out of nowhere just to cheer you
up. He often says you're his angel and always
knows how to make you blush a dark shade of
red.

What kind of boyfriend would you have?(with pics and obviously for girls^^)
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Groups...?

2005-06-26T12:28:00.000-07:00

Ugh... Just feeling... I don't know... In the mood today... Here I go...again...
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@

Ergh...is it a crime bein' friendly...? Is it wrong to have friends? Many friends...? Many close friends??? Ugh...I just don't understand it... I'm being trobled lately...
Many things are happenin'...and theres nothin' I can do 'bout it... Many thoughts keep rushin' into my mind... Don't know why though...
I mean...I have a group of friends... The typical barkada... Then...its only now that I've realized... I really was bein' away from my barkada... I was gettin' attached to my classmates...
Then when the year was almost over...damn... I felt anger from my pals... I mean... crud...they're mad at me for bein' with other pals... Its like...WHOA!!! WHY?!
But I just realized...In our barkada...some are also like me... THey have two barkadas... Its just crap...so unfair... They even say a joke...like...one of our pals... they say they'll join us for lunch every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday... I mean...damn... WHAT WAS THAT?! And they go around jokin' about it... But sometimes whenever I talk to my close buddies...and hang out with them for a while... They get mad and say that I spend too much time with them! Thats just crap...

Sometimes even about my 'lovelife'... Ergh...sometimes they want to intrude it... I guess in a friendly way is alright... But...sometimes when they really want to 'INTRUDE' as in...really get between us... Its just damn irritating... I'm just damn confused about them lately...

BUt not all are like that...Its just that... I dunno... its so unfair... Its pissin' me off...

No permanent thing but change...

2005-06-26T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well...err...yeah... Here I go...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

There are a few people I know... Well...actually, I consider them my friends... Haha! When we started to get along, I thought everything would be okay... Well...everything was starting to be okay... They were fun, and so KULIT to be with... I said to myself that these people would be my best pals for life... And yeah, in one point I guess they were... Then things started happening... Some things change... Not physically! I mean... by means of attitude...you know...? Sometimes without realizing it... You change... Then you suddenly think at the back of your mind, "When did I change...? What happened..." Tch... but unfortunately some people don't realize change happening... Thats whats so weird... I just don't understand it... Hmm... I wonder why some people are like that...

Like me...from quiet gurl that is easliy pushed around and hardly ever talks...(Haha! Yeah, I'm that kind gurl when I was in grade school!)
To the outspoken, friendly, kinda independent, confident gurl I now am... (Haha, gotta admit that...)

Many things changed about me... Its like I'm finally out of my cocoon... Grade school was when I was a caterpillar... 1st year was when I turned into a cocoon... And now I'm a free butterfly... I'm finally able to spread out my wings ^^ Haha! I'm being able to do what I want without being shy anymore...

But still my dislikes are the same... I still hate the FLIRTY, BITCHY, AIRHEADS, SNOBBISH, and alike... They still stir my blood... Grr... Some of the people I knew before...aren't the same... They slowly changed...though I don't remember when... I mean, I know I changed when I was in 2nd year... Haha! Now is the only time I saw change... A lot of change among my friends... Some changed for the better, some changed for the worse... And its getting irritating...

Grr...its damn irritating me... Hope they realize it and just...stay away... Grr...

Curl up and die!

2005-06-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

As I enter my room...
I feel something different...
I look around...
And everything looks the same...
What I didn't know that someone was watching me from below...
I get an eerie feeling rush down my spine!
I slowly grab my shoe...
And quietly walk in my room...
I closed the door and walk...
I try to reach for the lights...
When I on the switch...
The light doesn't go on...
The only light I see is from the window...
Sunlight...
Then I walk towards my bed...
I still feel an eerie feeling...
It gives me the shivers...
Then I felt something was watching me from behind...
I felt something creep up on me...
I slowly turn around...
I screamed my lungs out!!!
I took hold of my shoe...
and threw it against the wall!!!
I took another shoe and went closer...
I remove my shoe...
And to my disgust...
I saw a squished roach on my wall!!!
"EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!"
I slammed my shoe against it, screaming
"Die stupid thing! Die!"
It kept squirming!!!
So I hit it more and more!!!
After I pounded the defenseless roach about a million times, I stopped...
I looked at my shoe...
And eew...
I saw that part of the roach's body was sticking to it...
Talk about gross!!!

After that...
I learned my lesson...
Never squish a roach with your favorite shoes again ^^

What Kind of Girlfriend are You?

2005-05-06T10:38:00.000-07:00

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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Which stunning spirit of emotion are you?

2005-05-06T10:35:00.000-07:00

You are the Spirit of Hope. Whenever someone is feeling down, they merely have to think of you to make them happy again. You have the ability to simply radiate happiness. You can make friends quickly because your strong point is your amazingly friendly nature which naturally people want to be with. You think about the best in everything, a total optimist, you won't have any trouble getting a worthy person to share your life with!

Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
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Envy...Jealousy... (with additional info at the bottom!)

2005-04-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

(Hmm… Yeah… I got to let my thoughts out… Here I go…)

Hmm… Envy… A BIG word… Literally it isn’t so long… It’s just a short word. But the meaning is BIG right? The meaning of envy runs DEEP! It could mean JEALOSY, GREED, DESIRE, RESENTMENT, SPITE, and probably many more. Tch! I’ve even checked for more meanings on jealousy… Check it out…!

-feel envious towards; admire enviously.
-a feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something possessed by another.
-spite and resentment at seeing the success of another.

Hehe… Okay… I’m done with the definitions… Hmm… Actually I’m wondering, the bible and the church say that God created us equally, right? I mean ‘We are in His image and likeness’ so they say. But yet all of us are unique… Huh! Isn’t it a weird paradox? I mean…in that instance, religion and being realistic contradict so much! In some ways luck comes in… It shows that some people are lucky, some aren’t… Some are lucky being ‘blessed’ with beauty, talent, wealth, power, good health, and whatsoever. Uhm…they say all of us are given gifts, right? But there never is satisfaction within us. I admit that even I am NOT satisfied with my life… Some say I’m luckier than others. Whenever we are optimistic we compare ourselves to the less fortunate… When we are being pessimistic we compare ourselves who are more fortunate than we are… I experience that! And it bites…

Hmm… Guess that’s just an intro… Because what I really want to shout out is about envy! Because what I wrote in the last paragraph has something to do with envy. I mean, the main reason that there still is envy is because we aren’t all alike. You can agree on me on that, right? Some people are just plain…SELFISH! They want it all! But the more they want it all; in the end they’ll get nothing! That’s just my opinion… Hehe! A paradox… Some people should be contented with what they have. They should know their limits! And that should go as a lesson for me, too… But I guess its okay to like something… Its like reaching for a dream you’re trying to get… And when reaching that dream, you won’t trash or destroy anyone else’s dream just to get what you want! Uhm… I just damn hate people that are plain selfish… I hate them like hell! Especially when they go raining on my parade! I mean, they go trashing my goal for their own selfish and uncanny reasons… When everything I want, they want as well. When I have something dear to me, and they want to take it away from me! Hah! They should just get a life of their own! Heck, I won’t let them stop me from my dreams! If I have something and they want it, not a chance! I won’t let them have it! Especially when I can’t live without it! Not literally, but you get what I mean… *Sigh* Envy is such a pain…! There will never be any end to satisfy people… Uhm…maybe others are simply satisfied… But, not all are easy to satisfy. And I guess that goes for me, too…

But sometimes, others just want to be plain selfish! They want what others have! TOTAL JEALOUSY! I mean, they don’t WANT others to be happy! And that’s not good, that’s damn EVIL! And I just can’t stand people like that! Hmpf! Like here are a few situations I can relate that to…

1. When a person gets jealous at another person for that person’s achievements. (Most of the time this happens… And the hard part is when the two people are friends. First it’s just a friendly competition… But friends and competition is a hard mix. Sometimes it turns bitter and breaks the friendship ties. I’ve seen stiff like this and I confirmed it…)
2. When a person wants to achieve a goal and another person got it. (That’s hard! When you want something and you didn’t get it… Uhm… Mostly happens among friends… Yeah… I’ve seen this one, too…)
3. When a child doesn’t get attention from parents. Favoritism! (Yeah… Family issues… I’ve experienced this one… Yeah… But I’m over this! I’m not a kid anymore! I’m a bit mature than I was before! Hehe! :P)
4. Being felt an outcast in a group. When someone is best buds with another even when you’re in a big group. (The typical… You’re in a big group of friends, but you can’t avoid that one person is close to another. But the hardest situation here is when there are three in a group… You can’t avoid that the two are close and the other isn’t very much…)
5. When there is a couple and another person is jealous of the couple and wants to take one away from another. And the hard part here is when the person wants the other to love him. Or vice versa! (Uhm… Typical love triangle… The guy loves the girl, and the girl loves him. The antagonist is a jealous lover who wants the love and affection of the girl or guy. Uhm… But I’ve seen this one happen. It was a sad one… I felt sorry for the guy…)

Hmm… There are many more, but its kind of hard to explain… Mainly wanting what isn’t yours… It’s just that I really hate those kinds of people who try doing lives of others… Hah! Why can’t they GET A LIFE! Sometimes… No! Most of the time they do stupid and annoying things… They think that by doing that they will eventually get what they want. But in reality, it goes the opposite way! Uhm, I researched and here are some ways that I found. They say these are the ways how selfish and jealous people deal with their everyday selfish and jealous lives… Hey! It’s hard to researched about this! :P

1. They make up stories similar to whatever they are jealous about. (For example that person knows someone who won an award like this and like that. The person will be like “Well actually a few years ago I had an award just like that! Oh you must be proud! I know the joy you must feel! Blah blah blah…” Or “Yeah, I know that! It is so hard to get an award like that! How do I know? Because I had one like that before!” Or it could be like “I’ve been there too!” or “I’ve already done that many times!” Annoying, right? Hah! Such a wannabe!)
2. Whenever there is a hot topic, that person will always say they know about it. (Uhm, for example the topic is about fashion… Uhm I don’t care about fashion much, but that’s the only topic I can think of as of now. The person will be like “Oh yeah! I know that to!” or “Yeah! I do that also! Its so much fun!” Tch! So pathetic! )
3. The person will say nonsense things just to get attention away from something that he doesn’t know much about. (Uhm… For example, that person will try to blend in a crowd that is talking about something. He’ll change the topic to something that he knows better. Uhm…just a tip for those kinds of people…if you want to prove that you know something about a topic, prove it! Don’t just say you know it, because you’ll look stupid! :P)
4. When a person likes someone but the person he likes doesn’t like him back they imagine way too overboard that they think its reality! (Uhm…you can imagine that, right? But it’s okay to say, “He’s my sweetie!” I mean if you’re joking like that, its okay. Hehe! I joke like that, too! Hey, but not anymore… But it’s mainly because you’re such a fan of that person. And nobody is going to believe you so it’s okay! Go! Aim high! Like your favorite vocalist or model! :P Hehe! Just keep your dream a dream! Don’t be TOO obsessed cause that’s not healthy! Hehe! What I mean is that you say that a person is your ex or your boyfriend or girlfriend because you’re crushing on them! And you make up stories just for others to believe you… And that’s damn desperate!)

The final cut is that people who are so envious and so jealous of others don’t have a life! They can’t think of nothing better they can do but try to make lives of others a misery! They feel that they can firmly put themselves on a pedestal! Haha! Well, some may believe them… Uhm for the people who easily believe desperate lies like those… Please stick to facts! Look for actions and not just words. Because those lowlives try to be what they are not! Try to do what they can’t! Pretend to know what they don’t! They can’t get a life! I pity and despise them! No…not only despise… I HATE them! Grr! Can’t stand them! They’re like…PLASTIC! Grr! And I can’t stand plastics! Ugh… My moods turning red… Hehe! And to those Jealous and envious people…Plastics… DREAM ON! Cause that’s all you can do! :P Good luck in finding a life! Get a life! So you won’t influence others into your ‘world’! Hehehe! Have a nice day! :P

(Phew! Okay… I’m done ranting about this… :P Next entry…)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Okay... I've read another article at a mag! Hehe! Its just additional info! Hmm... they say "Envy asks one leading question: What about me?" Haha! I'm so damn sick people like this! What about you eh? I don't give a damn about you! Get out of my life! I don't need you! Don't dare come close!
They say that there are 5 main sources of envy. And I can see its true!

1. Material Envy- Yeah... It is all about the STUFF! Material things... Tch! Sure we would like all the neatest gadgets and stuff! But that isn't a good reason to envy and later on hate the person! Tch! Your a shallow person if you envy just for that!

2. Love Envy- Yeah... Most of the telenovelas are like this! Love trials, comparisson of relationships, the "she-has-a-relationship-how-come-I-don't" Uhmm... it says in the mag that women mostly have envy about this. It says that men don't really care about other relationships other than his than a woman. Hehe!Yeah... I see it's kinda true... Yeah...

3. Status Envy- Uhm... The envy of the status of the person in life... Yeah... That explains it all... That person is a 'something' in the business and your just an employee... Uhm...just an example, okay?

4. Career Envy- Uhm...CAREER! Yeah... Uhm... there goes the words "sipsip" to the boss type... Yeah...

5. Body Envy- Hehe! Uhm... Like... You envy a person cause he or she is prettier, whiter, taller, etc. Physical appearance is what you envy about a person... Hehe! But there is such a thing as surgery!!! Hehehe! Just be careful, alright? Hehehe!

What type of Mythical Sprite are you?

2005-04-09T14:13:00.000-07:00

Fun loving, childish, innocent and pure You are a sprite of the Air: Fun loving and childish your naive nature only enhances how truly cute you are! You may come off as too childish but only because your not burdened with all the rules and regulations of adulthood. You are carefree most of the time spending your days playing tag or naming all the clouds you see in the sky. You are generally kind to everyone because you have lots of love and happiness to share! Making friends comes easy because they strive for the innocence you possess but be careful, being as nice and kind hearted as you are people will try to manipulate your nature if they have not already. Don't ever let anyone mold you to their standards although I doubt anyone could.

.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
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10 to 1 things about me!

2005-04-09T13:13:00.000-07:00

(Okay...this is kind of like a survey... I got this from ate Em's blog. Ate Em, we have quite a lot in common! Hehe! Miss you a lot! Mwah!)

10 really random things about me:
1) I am poor in penmanship (Ouch! Yeah... True...)
2) I love anime (Anime, not CARTOONS)
3) My favorite color is blue (Uhm...just look at my blog...)
4) I am a sensitive, mushy and romantic person... (Eww...mushy mushy...)
5) I am a grudge holder! (Yeah! I'll have a grudge on you for LIFE!)
6) My favorite number is 3! (Hehe! I can relate it to my name :P)
7) I HATE a lot of stereotypes! (Ugh...yeah...PRETENDERS, PLASTICS, bullies, those who use other people, snitchers, tattletales, annoying brats and many more! :P)
8) I have a big appetite! (Och! Yeah... But I try not to show it when I'm outside :P I'm on a diet right now....really!)
9) I am a Gemini (No doubts about that! June 3 is my birthday)
10) I try to do my best in everything I do! (At least I try!)

9 ways to win my heart:
1) Be responsible
2) Be true (As in Loyal and honest)
3) Be romantic
4) His attitude should compliment mine! (Yeah! So he should be like me! :P Hehe!)
5) Who won't hurt me... (I don't like to be hurt...again...)
6) Knows me (I mean really knows me like its himself! :P)
7) Respects me... (Yeah!)
8) Not afraid to show he loves me... (Not just words...or just action...It should be both...)
9) Won't take me for granted! (Yeah...!)

8 things I carry everyday:
1) Brush
2) Wallet (Uhm...with money and pictures of course)
3) Bag (Hehe!)
4) Hanky
5) Lip balm
6) Phone
7) Earphones (My phone has a radio :D)
8) (Recently) My Sakura Dog tag :)

7 things that annoy me:
1) Videoke stalls by our house (Uhm...its the people who sing that annoy me...)
2) The HEAT
3) Sometimes I'm so bored...
4) MY life (Yeah...)
5) People that are "FAKE" to me! (Yeah...deep meaning...uhm...the typical "I HATE" stereotypes)
6) My dad's 'kakornihan' (:P Hehe! When he jokes my mom...yeah...korni...!)
7) My appetite (Eww... Yeah... I'm not bloated, just a bit chubby I guess... Ugh... I'm exxageratting...)

6 places I've visited:
1) Baugio
2) Batangas (Lipa city! Hehe! My fave!)
3) Paranaque! (Yeah! Bahay nila tito Mike! :P)
4) Mindoro (Uhm...Calapan city and Puerto Galera)
5) Q.C.! Hehe!
6) Laguna -_-...

5 things I want to do before I die:
1) Be with the true one I love and live happily ever after (Hehe! Kind of like from a fairy tale right?!)
2) Find my purpose and pursue it! (Yeah!!!)
3) Be able to be famous and be remembered! (Oooh! Too ambitious!)
4) Have a long happy life :)
5) To be able to remove the stereotypes I HATE! (YEAH! But that sounds...bad... Yeah... Hey! I'm not a sadist!)

4 things I'm afraid of:
1) Losing any of my loved ones
2) Death
3) Loneliness
4) Making wrong decisions (Uhm...yeah... I'm not a perfectionist but...I don't like making mistakes...! Who does?!)

3 things I do everyday:
1) Use the computer
2) Use the phone
3) Eat

2 things I'm trying NOT to do now:
1) Make a friend cry because of what I could ask or say! (Hehe! Yeah...feel sorry for that human! But so pathetic...!)
2) Eat... (Ouch! Yeah... The diet thing...)

1 person I want to see now:
1) ***** :P

What is your true element?

2005-04-09T10:47:00.000-07:00

Your element is Rain: Sad, lonely, distant and unique. You are quite distant from emotion and people, but you have been made this way by one thing or another. You are truly unique yet fail to see it, and are quite creative be it in art, music, writing, ect.. You used to let people in now you don't even bother to try having been hurt so many times in the past. Your attitude is that you don't need anyone but yourself, people are just trouble waiting to happen. But you really do want to trust someone no matter if you see it or not, deep down your waiting for someone to come and set you free. This kind of depression can turn dangerous, don't let them get to you. Not everyone in the world will hurt you, humans are humans and are not perfect. So most likely sooner or later you'll meet someone who feels like you do and perhaps your shell will eventually disappear.

.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

What I want and should do...

2005-04-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

Hmm…In our life there are many things that we could do… Yeah… When we’re bored we could go out and have fun, hang out with friends, watch TV, pick up the phone and call a buddy or you could just sit there…bored… Hehe! Yeah… Summer is such a bummer for me… Nothing much to do… Well…maybe nothing at all… But hey, its better to be here at home relaxing all day, than being in a different place far from home. Missing friends, family, the usual stuff you do, and the atmosphere around you! I mean, I had a near summer bummer threat!! My dad was about to send me to the province for about…uhm…a week or two! Uhm… I know I am over reacting, but I DON’T WANT TO GO! I thought he was going to have his way… Tch! I really cried for quite a while that morning… Hehe! Talk about acting skills… Yeah… I overacted WAY TOO MUCH! It’s a good thing a have a lifesaver mom. (Love you mom! Mwah!!)

Anyways there are many things I could be doing… I could join summer workshops to improve myself… Yeah basically that’s the reason why I join those things… To improve myself… I could also be having a summer job. I mean I have a relative who owns a doughnut shop, I could help around there and it WILL be fun! I could also be spending the whole summer with buddies of mine! Hehe! But I realized something yesterday… Hehe… There are things that I WANT to do, and things that just HAVE to be done… And I guess yesterday… I did more of what I wanted to do… Yeah… I bought more of what I wanted, not what I really needed… (Hehe! Naruto mode! Hehe, long story!) I mean I have responsibilities… In a way, my responsibilities are like missions I have to complete… When I fail a mission, I fail a responsibility I am supposed to accomplish. I feel my rank going down. In the simplest way, my dependability decreases. Uhm… Some people depend on me. And I feel bad for myself when I let them down, or whenever I wasn’t able to be there for them. Sometimes I just don’t know what I should follow... Yeah... I'm in a tug of war situation... I don't... I just don't know...

(Whoa...that just seems like a messy article of jumbled words >.<>

Poem without a title, but with a heart...

2005-04-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

(Hmpf! I made this poem for a friend! Hehe! My friend liked this one! So I'll post it here to share it with all of you! :P Its simple and very...SIMPLE! Yeah... Hehe! Its like a poem of a 1st grader! Hehe! But the plot of the poem is simple! Read on!! :P)

My life was empty and just full of lies
But then you came and made me realize
There is more to life than loneliness
Life also can give love and happiness

You came into my life without me noticing
You came into my life and had me falling
Even if it were the coldest, darkest night
You were always there, my warm bright light

We're so alike, you and I are like one
When we talk or we're together I have fun
Then I felt glad, we felt the same way
Nothing can compare to this feeling anyday

Your the one that makes my heart beat fast
I hope these feelings we have will last
I love you and I don't want to let you go
I love you and thats what I want you to know

You made me change, and made me complete
Maybe not physically from head to my feet
We love each other and I know this is true
But still I want to tell you that I love you

Dominant Intelligence

2005-01-08T21:10:00.000-08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Ei! My quiz!

2004-12-28T09:08:00.000-08:00

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

click this link above to go there! Please try it! :P

My Christmas Party?

2004-12-21T01:50:00.000-08:00

Ha ha! One of the most anticipated "happenings" at school, the Christmas party! This is a day when we students are BANKRUPT and LOADED, there is music ALL OVER THE PLACE, there are many EXCEPTIONS to the SYSTEM, FRIENDS gather round, LOVE is being showered, ENEMIES become FRIENDS, and BLISS is the atmosphere.

But before this day, I was SO BUSY! I was out almost half of the day walking, buying, and searching for gifts for my buddies! I wasn’t even able to post at my blog! I had so many things to do!

And today was OUR party… It was O-K…but at the start, it was rather sad… Our adviser, MS. Amiela Cardines, was sick. :( We were ALL bummed! It was a very special occasion for us, and she was sick! :( I hope she gets better this vacation… She deserves a good rest! :) Hmm… First we played games… It was all right… But something happened…and I didn’t like it…AT ALL! I don’t know if anyone had noticed it… Majority of my classmates don’t care though. HAH! After all, it’s only me. They don’t know what I can do… Anyway, skipping on… We had our exchange gifts… Har har! Kim was SO furious with me! (KIM! PEACE!) He he… It’s because I lied to her… I told that I had picked out a different code name, and not hers. Sorry Kim! PEACE! He he! Because the truth was, I was the one that got her code name. I just wanted to surprise her. I didn’t mean to lie! I’m a good girl :) Then we were supposed to eat after that. But it was delayed. Our classmate who was assigned to bring spoons, forks, and plates didn’t bring any! So we had dessert as a starter. Elijah sponsored the ice cream. Har har! After a while the plates came… Most of them ran to the food! (MGA PG! Har har! That’s them, not me! I waited for my turn…HONEST!) Them we all left after “FEASTING” in our room.

Then I went to my buddies so we could all exchange gifts! (I wasn’t able to exchange with them because all our time with the party, we weren’t allowed to go out. I was so busy doing NOTHING inside the room… *sigh*) I had a much better time with my pals than with my classmates. Well, whatever… I don’t care…

Hey! I would like to thank my pals for the gifts! (This is arranged by size. Hey, it’s not that I give more credit to the bigger ones. I appreciate all equally :) :P) Thanks Ate Ana, Arturo, Ms. Cardines, Charles (even if the exchange gift is compulsory anyway :P), Chelle Fano, Danica, Edleanne, Iane, Jd, Joan, Kim, Lara, Lou, and Piah! Thanks so much! :)

*sigh* But I know that our party isn't about the gifts, the food, and the prizes... It is about the bonding, unity, and happiness... But I guess I didn't feel it this year... Har har! I'm so bad, am I? *sigh* Oh well... it's time to wait for the REAL Christmas! Har har! :) I hope I'll feel better by then :)

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

2004-12-18T19:22:00.000-08:00

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life!

-=This is dedicated to all that went into my life and change me...=-

-To those who were for a REASON... Thank you for being with me... Thank you for the reason you put into me...

-To those who were for a SEASON... Thank you also... You made me who I am... Even if you only stayed a while... Even if it was short... Thank you...

-To those who are for a LIFETIME thank you for ALWAYS being there... I thank you from the bottom of my heart...

Family and Friends...a blessing...

2004-12-17T01:47:00.000-08:00

First, I'd like to say a big THANK YOU to my family...
My mom, my ever so loving and understanding mom... She's the one always looking out for me... She's the one I approach when I have problems... Even if at times I don't always do what she tells me...I love my mom...so much...
My strict dad...Haha! He's one of the people whom sometimes (I have to admit) I don't care for much...I also have to admit I got to love him! Hehe! There's nothing I can do! He's my dad! He can also show he care...(even if sometimes I don't like the way he shows it...hmp! hehe!!) And I also sometimes can't help but wish that he's not around. O_O har har! I'm so bad!
My brothers...my ever so innocent bros! Hahah! Even if sometimes they dun always do what I tell them (Wahh! Bad ate! They shouldn't ALWAYS do what I tell them...Ok sometimes I'm bossy! :P Can't help it :P) Neweiz I love my bros! Even if sometimes they are like pests! Har har!

My other relatives...Thanks for the laughs, the tears, the love... Thanks for everything you gave to me...

Then on the other hand, I've got my ever so lovable and loyal friends!
Hmm... When I was still in my KINDER years...I remember having friends... Although I’m not sure on how close we were... I can't remember... Hmm... I remember Diana Mae, Anthony, Robert, and Kim... They're all the ones I remember from my memory...
Then when I reached grade school… Hmm… I had 2 close friends that were ALWAYS by my side… Danife and Marynelle…I don’t know where they are right now… I don’t know how they are doing… But I hope they’re fine… We were friends until the middle of grade 4…. We were in 3 different sections… And that lessened the bond between us…
I met a classmate who really treated me well. We are still close pals until now… Har har! My friend is Mary Louise! Hmm… she was my classmate only one time…We never were classmates again… I don’t know if we’ll be classmate sin the 3rd year though… Who knows? We became real close! We shared secrets, we hang out together, and we helped each other!
Then when I reached the 5th grade, I met another friend. She was not my classmate, she’s just a fellow club member of mine. Her name was Joan. Hehehe! She and Louise were classmates that year though… SO they became close! Har har!
Then I became and Internet junkie that summer! Har har! I met lots of online friends!!! They became a family to me! Har har! The closest to me was my fellow fan fic admin Shelly. We’re like sisters! She knows my secrets and I know hers. Har har! Besides Shelly are Oni, Hannako, Reis, Hisoka-sama, Kiyota-san, hmm… Digi, Haru har har! Uhm…sorry to those I forgot… :( maybe we weren’t that close… :(
When I was in the 6th grade, Joan and I were classmates (for the first time!)
That year I became close to someone that I wasn’t close to before. She was a classmate of Louise. And she was my classmate and club mate when I was in the 5th grade. But I only got close to her in the 6th grade. And that was Danica. Har har!
Then I also became close to other friends… Hmm… namely Yoko (Ruby Yoko :P). Edleanne, and Irene! Haha! We were kind of close… Not that much though… Irene found another group of friends, but we’re still kind of close though. :P
I had joined a summer theater-acting workshop…and I gained a lot of pals as well! Hmm… I met JM, Dianne, Avhe, Lei, Leah, Vern, 2pe, Echo, Mhela, Mela, Mimi, Avel, Roel, Aubrey, Jacky, Jade, and Rojohn…and more that I forgot :) so sorry… I learned a lot! It was fun…and whenever I see them or they see me…We always remember to greet each other! :)
When I was a high school freshmen were still friends, the 4 of us. We were called “F4” O_O could you imagine that!? Haha! Joan and Louise were classmates, while I was in the STAR section (Yikes! The best of the best so they say! And I don’t belong there! Oh no!), Danica was in another section. The room beside Louise and Joan’s.
And Wow my section was REAL far away from theirs! But it was fun! I didn’t think I’d enjoy my freshman year. I thought it would be a disaster!!! I didn’t think people so smart could be so wacky! (Hey former Mannesianz! I mean WACKY in a good way!) We were the most “unpredictable” I guess. ! In our old classroom I was beside Erika, JB, and Wabel! Haha! Wabel!!! I was also seated beside Roma, but we don’t talk often… -_-…
And the events that I thought would be bad for us turned my school life better! REALLY unpredictable things happened to us! Haha! Our school library was hit by lightning (Of all places!) and our wiring was near that… So we had to migrate! :P Haha! Excuse the term!
The first day without a room were put in the Wet Science lab! Haha! That was fun! We had faucets! We could wash our hands whenever we pleased! We even had a shower there! Hee hee hee! And we were also well hidden from teachers! Har har! My seatmate was Terence and Viczenn… I thought at first… ‘Bummer…I can’t talk to these guys… Coz they ARE guys!’ (No offense to guys! But I am a girl! I want to have a girl-to-girl conversation! But hey I am closer to guys! Not that I’m a lesbian or anything like that. But it’s somehow easier to talk to them! Har har!) But hey as days went by, I didn’t mind being seatmates with them.
The 2nd day of our day without a room we were “PLACED” in the Dry Science laboratory! Hmm…it was okay… We had no more faucets… But there were fish and plants there! Har har! The plants! After a few days I was transferred. Haha! I was beside Viczenn (still him -_-…yah…), Mark “Lakeh”, them across the table were Almarie, Lynne Faith, and Maviel. Har har! Almarie and Faith were new students. Actually the first day of school Almarie was with me :) Haha! We had our break together. Faith and I were kind of close too! Haha! And Mavi our class president was not much of a quiet person…AT ALL! Haha! Time went by quickly… I miss the good old days in the Dry Lab…I miss the days we shout in the room and fall on the floor laughing… (Hey! Not literally!)
I met a lot of new pals! Hmm… I met Almarie “Dila”, Lynne Faith, Robin “Dwendeng itim”, JB “Johnny Booger”, Benjie, Erika, and Jelaine “Ilong” Haha! I was kind of close to the newbies!
Hmm…Oh I forgot to mention my other online pals! Har har! MIRC was the best that year… Too bad it’s not anymore… I was a frequent chatter there. I was a certified CHADIK! Chat Adik ok? Har har! Hmm… I met lots of new peeps! Former jamers, non-jamers, and jamers alike!
Hmm… I met kuya Zachi, we don’t get to chat very often now though :(… Then ate Berna, she is an older sister of a classmate of mine :) And I met many from the graduating batch of 2003-2004! Har har! A friend of mine is in that batch, and I got kind of close with batch mates of his! Haha! Like kuya Abet “Bear”, kuya JC “Daga”, kuya James, kuya David, kuya Gelo, kuya Osie, Kuya Kel, “Lolo” Har har! Kuya Chadz, hmm… maybe I still forgot someone… not sure… Oh yah! And I also met ate Ana! She’s a senior now! I’m going to miss her :( Hmm… Aica, Ivan, Jacka, Ryan, hmm… and maybe I forgot again -_-…so sorry…
Hmm and during our X-mas party I was exchanging gifts with a group of friends from another section! Har har! With Diana Mae (Hey! We became close again! Haha!) Iane, Ria, Mary Anne, Ana, Julie, Elaine, baby Fano, Michelle (actually we are related…but we weren’t really close!) Hmm… I think that’s everyone… hmm…
Then at vacation I met a real nice guy in friendster! Har har! His name is R. Christianne. Haha! We’re quite close :P Then I met his friends Ramch, Rjadzper, Addi, Mikko (Har har! Actually I already knew Mikko, but he didn’t know me. He was a former Jamer. And he was a council president when I was in the 4th grade. Whoa! Imagine, a former Student Council president! Har har!) Then he met my friends! Haha! Friendster!
When school was back on I was in a separated section again… The closest person I could find there was Kim. Har har! I am getting close to former close friends! Haha! She was a CHADIK too! Hee hee! I got a bit close with a few of my classmates… Hmm…Charles, Redan, Arturo, Terence (again -_-…) Haha! And whoa! They are guys!
I am still a LOYAL member of the Web Navigators club… Har har! I met new peeps there last year! Haha! And now… I WAS the president… Haha! But the juniors in our club felt insulted… Boohoo for them! Hey, I’m not looking for a fight, okay? Haha! I have a few freshman friends now! Hee hee hee! Hmm.. Namely Piah, Jannie and Mydy. Har har! Hey! I said a few :P
Hmm… this year is my moment to make a mark at school… Haha! I didn’t expect to join contests! I joined a poster-making contest and made friends. I made friends with ate Ianne :D Haha! She’s a junior. She was across the table from me. Teehee! She’s REAL GOOD in drawing! Then c Aljohn din! Har har! He is SO kulit!!!
Then when we had our own contest that our club sponsored! Har har! Aljohn joined again! Haha! Talk about about active!!! :P
Hmm…then I was also the one who represented our class for the Literary Pageant a.k.a. Character Portrayal. Har har! I was excused from class for about 4 days! Har har!!! I met a lot of new friends! Har har! Hmm… I got a bit close with Donna, Mica (she was our representative last year! A fellow Mannesian!), Jamie, Jeunice, Geraldine, Mickey, “Gloria”, Katrina “Esther”, Nina “Anne Frank”, Mary Rose “Emily”, Charles “Ceazar”, Al Kendrick, Von “Count of Monte Cristo”, “Antigone”, Aped “Barnabas”, Jenus “Poseidon”, Cristel (Haha! Cristel and I are relatives! And the only time I knew was during the contest! Har har! WOW! Hee hee hee!)
Sorry for the other freshmen… I forgot your names…:( SO sorry! And sometimes whenever we see each other at school we call out the names of the character the other has portrayed! Haha!
Then Von, Aped, and Jenus asked me to add them at friendster. So I did. And I added them at YM too. Haha! They Jenus made me add a few yahoo ids… They were his friends O_O… o-k… Haha! That’s when I knew about “Alphabeto” that is the name of their barkada. And whoa are they many! And they are real untied. I became friends with some of them… Hmm… Reian, Enchong, Namay, and Bryan. Hehe! Though we’re not that close yet! Har har!
Well…Hmm…I guess Friends are blessings… If I didn’t meet any of these people, and if my family hadn’t supported me… Hah! I wouldn’t be who I am now… I owe them all a lot…

To all the people I missed out… You know who you are… I’m sorry…

Thanks a lot…to all of you :)…

Friends?

2004-12-15T04:47:00.000-08:00

Hay naku naku naku....Friends...Friends I have! But in my room...I think I can only think of a few classmates whom I consider friends...Hah! I consider the rest FOES!
They don't know who I am! They don't know how I act, how I am, or who the heck I am! They consider me as a classmate and FRIEND whenever:
a) They need my help
b) They want to boast that we ARE UNITED
c) They want to pick on me
d) They want me to do something for them
e) They think they'd do ME a favor. *Take note, they think they do ME a favor for them calling me THEIR friend. HAH! If that were favor on my side...I'd hate myself!!!

AND SO MANY MORE!!!

I only like to be called their classmate when.... I am like an OUTCAST to THEM!
WAIT! I don't want to be called their classmate!!! I guess most of them are "Fair-weathered" friends! But I can say that there are a FEW I consider friends... The ones who never let me down...The ones I can lean on... The ones who understand me... The ones who stay by my side...

I just wish I could end this year without them in my sight...They are a sight for sore eyes... Grr! They don't know how I feel...and they never will!

-=They don't like me...and I HATE THEM!!!=-

Though... Though I wish sometimes we could all get along... I wish we could put our differences behind us... I mean no one was made here on earth that was evil... So I can't blame them... But sometimes I wish that our paths didn't cross... They sometimes give me the trouble of being with them... Haha! But even if sometimes I hate them, sometimes I despise them, even if I wanted to deny and leave them... I have to learn to love them... They are, after all, my family... My St. Rose family :)

[Har har! Did you actually think I'd only put bad things on this blog about my classmates? Haha! Wrongo! I have to admit that SOMETIMES they make me feel welcomed... Har har! They make me laugh too! Especially during Science period! :P Hey, this is my family for the year. I at least should TRY to at least FEEL part of it! :P It's not half bad! Haha!]

Clashes...

2004-03-23T21:42:00.000-08:00

*Sigh* Sometimes I wonder... Am I a bad soul? Do I fit in? Do I KNOW how to fit in? Or even, do I deserve this? *Sigh* Then I ponder at my place of SOLITUDE... My bed... That is the only place I can truly say I feel relaxed... And as I close my eyes... I think... Do I want my 2nd year life to become a misery that I will look back from my life, over and over...AND REGRETING IT! HAH! I don't want my St. Rose family to be a burden... Actually, I am anticipating a lot from them... But not all of them I despise... Only a few... And I am sure they know that...

*Sigh* I give myself some time to think on what to do... I really didn't enjoy our Christmas party much... It was as boring for me as it could get. I just on a plastic smile... I at least tried to like it a bit... My classmates probably didn't notice... Har har! I don't know why I even bother thinking about them... I may seem like an outcast... And I guess I am... Ha ha! I have more friends in other sections than in my own. And I have friends from other years that are more friendlier to me than they are. Har har!

It's almost the end of 2004... So about 3 months of 2005 is all the time I have with THEM... Har har! And I've really been stressing about my grades! I AM SO NERVOUS! I don't know... *sigh* I've really been OUT of school this 3rd quarter! But wait! I've never been absent... I've never been late or anything... NOt in my school life that I remember... I've just been excused lately. Contests here and there. And all those contests gave way for opportunities to come to me... Ha ha! I've been SO different than what I was last year. Last year I was that "Timid, friendly, and shy" type. Now, I'm that "Friendly, outspoken, and active" kind. Har har! I may have not changed much... But hey, I HAVE changed.

To my friends, they might not have noticed. But to some of my classmates before and now... Ha ha! They might notice that. But hey, who can really tell. I know myself better than anyone else does...